Feeling Fat

Pic by Jun Kit, with Nico Marco as my fellow muncher

No, wait, don’t start telling me off for self-image issues yet.

Feeling fat’s not quite the same as being fat.

And yes I know that’ this way anorexia and bulimia lies, but don’t worry ladies it’s not that extreme.

I’m fully aware that I’m not fat. But I am also aware that I have cupcake tops that are threatening to turn into muffin tops and flabby arms.

I don’t like this and I don’t like walking around feeling saturated and unhealthy either.

Where does all this stem from? Perhaps it’s from living in Hong Kong where quite a few of the girls here are either slim like willows as tiny as the Enid Blyton fairies who live in flowers.

Sure some of them are definitely too skinny to either be healthy or aesthetically pleasing. But quite a few aren’t. They’re downright lovely and so fine boned that nothing is knobbly or sticks out. Standing next to one of these elfin creatures makes me feel solid, Amazonian and yes... a little fat.

Another way of looking at it is that after spending a week in Malaysia feasting on coconut milk drenched cuisine, such as Nasi Lemak and Rendang, my body is simply yelling at me, ENOUGH with the fat already!

I’ve been craving fresh tasting clean things, salads, fruits – all slightly unusual for me. Generally my diet mirrors that of the Gilmore Girls (albeit slightly more healthy and a touch less sugar. I am human, not fictional after all). So it’s been good to eat these things.

I believe in listening to your body. When I crave eggs, my body must be needed protein. When I crave carbs, it must need something to metabolise. So my craving for salads and clean things is my body’s way of saying it feels fat.

Right at this psychological moment, Garance Dore posted her lovely and touching account of her (relatively) minor battle with weight. It seems, even if you are a Frenchwoman, simply LIVING in New York can make you fat. I’m a whole lote more sympathetic to American women right now.

Having said that, Garance Dore, like Lisa Eldridge, can sell me on anything. Even a simple and hideously overpriced clutch printed with a photograph of palms that I KNOW I could sew seems wonderful when she photographs it and talks about it. Damn it. Now I want a hideously overpriced clutch bag that’s ridiculously simple to sew.

Anyway back to the topic at hand. I’ve shed some weight already (maybe half a kilo?) and feel better but am not quite there yet. I may start to do pushups at home because my arms are still flabby and it’s something I can fix rather than hang around whining about it.

Besides, being able to row a boat may come in handy someday.

Maxi Dress: From Love It, Ikano Power Center (RM60)
Burger: Sids Pubs